To smile – or not to smile…

Is there something people have been telling you over and over again?

For me it’s been to ‘smile more’ – pretty much my whole life.

I have to say that the remark mostly came from the males. It first started when I was in high school – right after my parents got divorced. The boys would have comments about me being ‘too serious,’ which basically means the same thing as ‘smile more.’ They wouldn’t usually say that to my face but I overheard their statements, often…

At that time I didn’t mind ‘looking too serious’ very much. After my family fell apart and my life had changed in great many ways, I kind of grew up overnight. From that point on my peers seemed pretty childish to me – for the most part. While they were having their first experiences from adult-life areas, being silly and irresponsible, there were different kinds of things on my mind.

I worried a lot about a couple of people who, I thought, depended on my sanity, stability and calmness. It was up to me to be strong for them, which wasn’t easy because I felt hurt as well.

In my childhood circle of friends I felt accepted and appreciated – but my high school environment was another story. I never felt like I belonged there – and I couldn’t wait to graduate.

Then there was a period of my life that passed by really quickly – and all of a sudden I was married, with children. I had to be a super-human at that time – to be able to handle everything I did: kids, building a new house (and I’m not talking about ‘having a house built’ – but building it with my own hands, like making the mortar and carrying bricks etc.), part time job, two businesses, helping with the work on my in-laws’ farm – and more.

I guess it was again the time when I didn’t have all that many reasons to smile much – and consequently my marriage fell to pieces as well.

After that – everything that mattered in my life – started turning into dust and I found myself at the rock bottom. The only thing left worth living for were my children. And just when I thought my life was over, a bright idea came to me that maybe, if I moved far away, I could start over.

So I did.

When I first started going out and socializing with people, my ‘to smile or not to smile’ challenge started all over again. People would tell me I wasn’t smiling enough and at first I took pride in the fact that whenever I did smile or laugh, it came from my heart. I never wanted to be one of those people with plastic smiles on their faces – while their eyes looked cold.

After a while, though, the not-smiling comments became annoying and that’s when I met this precious lady, Barbara, who told me, “There’s no need for you to smile. You look beautiful whether you smile – or not!”

Since that day my attitude has greatly changed. Now I – more than ever – appreciate people who make me smile and laugh, who are fun to have around. And a handful of those that might still be trying to change me – by telling me to smile – I don’t mind them any more. On the contrary, their remark now makes me smile…

So – to smile – or not to smile?

My answer is: Definitely smile, as often as possible, for as many reasons as possible, at as many people as possible!

 

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