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How to talk to a shy person

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How to talk to a shy person

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By Gabrielle Moss Jan. If you're not sure, here's an easy test to help you figure it out: have you ever: a had to spend between 45 minutes and four days psyching yourself up just to be able to call up aa dentist's office to make an appointment? If you mumbled "yes" to any of the above questions while not making eye contact, congratulations: you are a shy person, doomed to live in a social person's world. If you said "no" to all of tall above, and then loudly and confidently announced, "Who does this kind pwrson stuff? This all sounds totally bonkers to me! But before you go, there are a few things that we, the Shy People of the World, would like you know about us.

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So, basically, we're just like anyone else — we're just not shouting about it at happy hour.

We have hobbies, obsessions, best friends, in-jokes, and weird sexual things that we're into. We Probably Thought About Talking To You For A Long Time Before Actually Talking To You There are so many ways that conversation with a stranger could go wrong — saying something accidentally offensive; getting caught off-guard and looking dumb; unintentionally getting trapped in the middle of a monkey knife fight — that we spend a lot of time planning out how we're going to talk to a new person, developing several possible thre of conversation just in case one goes wrong and practicing our emergency protective anti-monkey knife fight crouch But if you ask us "so, do you talk?

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But around our real, close friends, you can't get us to shut up you know, just like anyone else. So, really, trust us, we're fine. I mean, it has to happen eventually, right? We're not aloof, and we don't think we're better than you; we just have a hard time talking to people that we don't already know or feel comfortable around.

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Why do we also have to go to some weird place filled with strangers, then stand around awkwardly holding a drink, waiting to be chosen for an inane conversation like it's some even more terrible version of a middle school dance? And I mean, if doing that makes you personally happy, go for it — but don't assume that shy people don't have personalities outside of their difficulties with small talk.

If you mumbled "yes" to any of the above questions while not making eye contact, congratulations: you are a shy person, doomed to sy in a social person's world. We don't waste our time getting caught up in silly social drama or competitions that eat up our time and mental energy. This, of course, is also not true — shy people come persoj all flavors, from "total doormat" to "quietly plotting evil genius who will destroy your life in ways you won't even discover until it is far too late.

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By Gabrielle Moss Jan. We've crunched the s, and have a hard time believing that the reward will be worth the risk. And we might as well note here that there is no better way to make sure that a shy person never feels comfortable enough to talk around you, than to assume that ti snobby.

We're Not Stuck-Up Though many extremely social folks have a person time imagining any reason why someone would be quiet, and thus jump to strange, whimsical conclusions about it — like that you must be silently staring at the floor because you think you're better than them — this is usually quite far suy the truth. We Have a Hard Time Asking For What We Want How for what we want — be it a job promotion, a date, or a talk of pizza from a restaurant shy sole purpose is to sell people slices of pizza — tp seems like more trouble than its worth also, insanely terrifying.

We see everyone, even when everyone doesn't see us, and we've become keen observers of the human condition as a result. Never mind that there is ro little laughing into faces going on in the real world, or actually anywhere outside of telenovelas, tapk. We're Not Stuck-Up Though many extremely social folks have a hard time imagining any reason why someone would be quiet, and thus jump to strange, whimsical conclusions about it — like that you must be silently staring at the floor because you think you're better than them — this is usually quite far from the truth.

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But we have to tell you about it on the internet, because we're not going to, like, say it to shy talk in public or something. If you're not sure, here's an easy test to help you figure it out: have you ever: a had to spend between 45 minutes and four days how yourself up just to be able to call up your dentist's office to make an appointment?

We're Not Pushovers, Either Ah, the other perennial shy person stereotype favorite — if you're not quiet and restrained because you're snotty, you must be tlak and restrained because you're a big yalk who will let everyone walk all over her. This, of course, is also not true — shy people come in all flavors, from "total doormat" to "quietly plotting evil genius who will destroy your life in ways you won't even discover until it is far too late.

That would be lunacy!

We have hobbies, obsessions, best friends, in-jokes, and weird sexual things that we're into. We are secure in the friendships we do have, and know that all our friends have our backs whenever trouble comes our way.

I mean, at least at a middle school dance, you got to listen to the Spice Girls. We Have a Hard Time Asking For What We Want Asking for what we want — be it a job promotion, a date, or a slice of pizza from a restaurant whose sole purpose is to sell people slices of pizza — often seems like more trouble than its worth also, insanely terrifying.

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But being shy isn't always a disadvantage. But if you ask us "so, do you talk?

Because if you don't, we're probably just going to spend the next two years staring at you, but then looking away when you look at us, and what kind of story is that to tell our kids? Why do we also have to go to some weird place filled with strangers, then stand around awkwardly holding a drink, waiting to be chosen for an inane conversation like it's some even more terrible version of a middle school dance?

We Probably Thought About Talking To You For A Long Time Before Actually Talking To You There are so many ways that conversation with a stranger could go wrong — saying something accidentally offensive; getting caught off-guard and looking dumb; unintentionally getting trapped in the middle of a monkey knife fight — that we spend a lot of time planning out how we're going to talk to a new person, developing several possible thre of conversation just in case one goes wrong and practicing our emergency protective anti-monkey knife fight crouch We're not aloof, and we don't think we're better than you; we just have a hard time talking to people that we don't already know or feel comfortable around.

We see everyone, even when everyone doesn't see us, and we've become keen observers of the human condition as a result.

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But before you go, there are a few things that we, the Shy People of the World, would like you know about us. We don't waste our time getting caught up in silly social drama or competitions that eat up our time and mental energy. We're Not Pushovers, Either Ah, the other perennial shy person stereotype favorite — if you're not quiet and restrained because you're snotty, you must be quiet and restrained because you're a big wimp who will let everyone walk all over her.

But we have to tell you about it on the internet, because we're not going to, like, say it to your face in public or something.

Best to just assume that shy folks should be treated like everyone else. So, really, trust us, we're fine.